Solving communication problems in friendships
All relationships can be difficult at times and since they are complex they can be tricky to figure out. If you are having communication problems in a friendship it can be difficult to navigate and resolve. Since no two human beings communicates in the same way it can be stressful and trying to figure out how to fix it. But the good news is that there are proven strategies that can help improve the communication in your friendships and if it has gone off track get it back on. Here are some tips for solving communication in friendships-
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- Listen twice as much as you talk! While everyone says it is simple to be a good listener it is really a lot harder then that. Being a good listener takes a lot of practice and awareness. If difficulties have arisen in the friendship, try taking a step back and ask yourself, "Am I really listening to her/ him?" Focus on what they are saying and do not interrupt to give advice; do not try to tell stories that relate to yourself in the experience; and do not act like you could care less. Just listen intently to your friend and let them know that you care. That is really all it takes.
- Take some responsibility. If you are having problems communicating in a friendship it is unlikely that it is just the other person's fault. If you are wrong about something, then admit it and move on. This is the mature thing to do, and you will be surprised at the reaction of your friend. While figuring out the communication difficulties in a friendship can be tough taking responsibility for yourself is a step in the right direction.
- Look at it from their point of view. When there are communication difficulties most people will want to share their side of the story and feel like they are being listened to and understood. It is crucial that you try (as hard as it may be) to stop focusing on you for just a moment, and think about how the conflict might have affected the other party. Consider the conflict and the resulting communication difficulty from their side: How must your friend be feeling? Could he or she possible be feeling the same way you are feeling? It can really be helpful to step out of yourself and think about your friend as you come across communication difficulties.
- Be careful of how you label. When two friends are trying to communicate effectively with one another words get thrown around a lot. Be careful that you are not blaming them for your behavior, or for the reaction you had to something they said. It is important to understand is that the way you reacted to your friend has nothing to do with them since you make the choice to act as you please. Instead of using the word "you" you should try using "I" statements to express yourself. For example, "I am feeling hurt because of something you said" or "I feel frustrated when." This way your friend will not feel like they are being attacked when you only want to solve the communication difficulties.
- The bottom line is to-communicate. It may sound trite and obvious but in order to figure out where your communication difficulties are, you will need to communicate with your friend. You have to keep in mind that you are not mind readers and w ill not be able to figure it out on your own so talk to each other. And then you can get back to really enjoying your friendship!
