Step one: Be yourself, and let your spouse be themselves as well.

If you want to have a happy marriage you can't be pretending to be someone you are not, and you do not want to see your spouse pretending to be someone else as well. You should be comfortable enough with your spouse to voice your opinions, and be the person you are at all times. You should encourage your spouse to do the same. This means, if you do not like sports, and your spouse does, that is OK. Often times when people date they think they have to align all of their interests with the other persons. This often results in them forfeiting their desires and goals for someone else's. If you do this for too long, it leads to losing yourself and resenting your spouse. So, do not let this happen in your marriage. Instead, enjoy what you do share in common, and celebrate your differences as they make life more fun.

Step two: Communicate well every day.

Everyone knows that communication is key to any relationship, but they often forget that it is not a one-time thing, but something you have to commit yourself to each day. If you want to have a happy marriage, then you need to ensure that you never go a day without connecting, and touching base. This means that before you leave the house or each other's presence for the day you need to take a minute to inform one another about your plans. And, when you come home from the day, take the time to update one another on how the day went. It means if you have a miscommunication, do not let it slide, instead talk it out so that you discover how it happened, and what made it happen, so that you can avoid similar miscommunications in the future.

Step three: Invest time and money into your relationship weekly.

This is a fun step, and an important one. What do you spend money on? Make sure your relationship is part of that list. Most people use money as an excuse not to spend time together-"It is too expensive to get a sitter." "It is too much money to go out on dates." Etc. However, if you want a happier marriage, you have to make it a top priority, and one of the best ways to do that is to have a set date night once a week, and never miss it. Trade babysitting with someone else if you have children and can't afford a sitter. Choose inexpensive dating options if your budget is tight. Make it work, and never let anything be more important than your relationship.

Step four: Restore passion.

If you want to have a happy marriage, your sex life and passion for each other needs to be good. So, the best way to do this is to talk about what it is that you expect, and what you want to change. It can be uncomfortable to talk about fantasies and to talk about sex, but it is critical to a happy marriage. Make sure you do things on a regular basis to keep the romance and passion alive in your marriage. This means make time for each other. Touch each other regularly, kiss good bye. Massage one another's feet while you watch television, etc.

Step five: Be smart with your finances.

One of the top reasons for marital problems is money. Poor money management, and not being smart with your finances adds stress to an already stressful life, and adds to marital problems. Having stress, and not having money often leads to testiness, short tempers, and finger pointing. This critical and condemning environment is not conducive to a healthy, happy marriage. So, make your marriage happier, and give it a better chance at success by being smart with your finances. This means create a budget. You want to make sure that you avoid debt, and live within a realistic budget that has room for fun and excitement, but also helps you meet your financial obligations. Learn ways to control your spending, and still enjoy life. There are a lot of ways you can have a good time and not spend a lot of money.

Step six: Focus on the positive, not the negative.

One of the big problems that lead to unhappy marriage is negative thoughts. When you think negatively about your spouse and your marriage those negative thoughts get cemented into your brain, and pretty soon your spouse cannot do anything right, and your marriage is horrible. So, make a list of things you love about your spouse, and things you love about your marriage, and when times get tough, or you are upset, pull out this list, read it, and remind yourself of the positive, not the negative side of your marriage.

Step seven: Praise your spouse.

Happy marriages require happy spouses. If you want your spouse to be happy, then make sure they know that you love them, and that you think the best of them. How do you do this? Well, what makes you feel good? When someone praises you, how can you not feel good? Help your spouse feel good, help them know you recognize their potential, do this by praising them. Even if they fail at something, you can praise their efforts. Find something, anything you can praise your spouse for and do it every day. They will return the favor; when you are treated with love and respect, you tend to reciprocate it naturally, so it will help you as well.

Step eight: Argue only about things that matter.

There are going to be a million reasons to argue in your marriage. Every day there will be times and opportunities to fight with your spouse. Your choice is whether or not your relationship is worth fighting over. For example, does your spouse buying the wrong type of cereal really justify an argument? What about your spouse spanking your child, if it is something you agreed not to do? There are some things that really matter, and make a difference in your marriage, and thus should be addressed even if it means an argument. However, there are things that in the scheme of things do not matter at all. Do not let arguments happen about things that really do not matter. Basically, pick your battles so that you do not fight about nothing.

Step nine: Show love for each other in the small ways.1

This is an easy and fun way to make your marriage happier. Do the little things that count to help your spouse see how much you care. These are things like picking up a little treat for them at the grocery store, or leaving them a little love not on the bathroom mirror, or just calling them from your work when you have a few minutes. It is not the grand gestures or the big things that show your spouse how much you love and care about them, it is the small things, and the little thoughtful actions that count.

If you need ideas on little things you can do to show your spouse that you love them, ask your spouse. They are sure to have a few things in mind that you could do to show them your love. For example, she might appreciate him putting the children to bed at night while she takes a bath, or reads a book. He might appreciate her letting him watch sport center when he gets home from work, BEFORE doing anything else.

Step ten: Be romantic.

Romance is part of courtship, and should not be forgotten in marriage. Romantic gestures are a great way to increase happiness. You can't help but feel special in a relationship when your spouse takes the time to plan and execute a romantic gesture. It might be flowers just because, or candle lit dinner, or a bubble bath and massage. No matter what your idea of romantic is, it is important that you practice it in marriage, and do not let the business and stress of real life get in the way of having romance in your relationship.

Of course there are other things you can do, and should do to have a happy marriage, such as showing respect for one another, etc. However, if you practice the above steps, you will find that the other characteristics of a happy marriage are going to fall into place naturally. So, enjoy having a happier marriage, and a more fulfilling relationship.