Stopping sibling squabbles before they begin
One way to improve the relationships within your family is to stop or at least reduce sibling squabbles. If you have more than one child, it's inevitable that there will be some rivalry or squabbles at some point.
Sibling rivalry often occurs when one child feels like a parent favors another, or in some way feels inadequate when compared to a sibling. This type of rivalry can lead to acting out or fighting between siblings.
While you probably won't be able to stop your kids from fighting forever, you can help to reduce the sibling rivalry in your home and strengthen their relationships in a variety of ways. The following are some ways to stop sibling squabbles before they begin:
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- Don't play favorites. Most parents will agree that they do not have a "favorite" child, but many times, there is a particular child in the house who is a little better behaved, more help around the house, or has a more agreeable personality. Regardless of the reason, it's important that parents never show favoritism among their children. Children can easily pick up on this, and it's one way that sibling rivalry, and squabbles, begin.
- Don't compare siblings. It is never a good idea to compare your children to each other in an attempt to get them to behave better or try harder at something. While it may seem motivational at the time, saying things like, "Why can't you get good grades like your sister?" or "I never have to remind your brother to do his chores; why can't you be like that?" is counterproductive and only serves to create a breeding ground for insecurity and fighting.
- Have alone time with each child when possible. Even if you have to schedule it, make sure you spend time alone with each of your children each day. This could be running an errand together, reading a story, or helping with homework without the distraction or company of the other siblings. This will help to strengthen your relationship with each child and help them feel special.
- Catch them getting along. Positive reinforcement goes a long way with children, so make sure you notice and praise them when they are getting along. For example, point out when they're getting along and tell them you appreciate it. Or, if one child shares a toy with another, praise him for his sharing.
- Don't take sides in a squabble. When your kids fight, instead of trying to determine who the instigator is and who is the victim, don't take sides. Let your kids know that when it comes to fighting, it takes two to tango. Taking sides also encourages tattling in children as well as sibling squabbles.
- Don't force your kids to play together. Just because your kids are siblings doesn't mean that they need to be best friends. Making your kids play with each other or forcing your older child to take his younger siblings out to play with his friends is a surefire way to start sibling squabbles and should be avoided when possible.
If you have more than one child in your home, chances are good there will be some squabbling at one point or another. But these tips can help you stop sibling squabbles before they begin.
