Number one: Express yourself
In trying to figure out if you should forgive somebody, one thing that might help is for you to express your feelings towards the other person. If the person who has hurt you is somebody who is important to you and you want to maintain your relationship with him or her, it can be very useful for you to talk to him or her about how you feel. When talking to them about how you feel make sure that you do it in a non-threatening manner, be careful in how you say things because feelings can run high in these types of discussions. If you no longer want the person in your life rather than talking to them directly, what you can do is write them a letter and then tear it up after you write it. Putting your feelings into words will help you to move on with your life because it will allow you to let go of those angry feelings. When it comes to forgiveness, the other person does not have to know that you have forgiven them because forgiveness is more for you than them anyway.

Number two: Look for the positive
When writing down what you are feeling and what happened to make you feel that way, how you choose to write about it and what you choose to focus on can make a difference on how easy it is to forgive. What you want to do is write about the benefits that you have gotten from the negative situation because it can help you to move on and forgive more easily than focusing on all of the negative feelings that you had. You want to look at everything in a positive light so that you can forgive a little bit more each day.

Number three: Cultivate empathy
While you do not have to agree with what the person did to you, when trying to forgive them it does help to put yourself in their shoes. In fact, research has shown that empathy, especially with men, is associated with forgiveness, it can also help make the process easier. Rather than looking at the other person as the enemy you should try to understand what they are going through that might have caused them to act this way. Try and focus on the person's good qualities, and assume that their motives were not intended to purposefully cause you pain, doing this can help make it easier to forgive.

Number four: Protect yourself and move on
Some people find that if you forgive somebody for hurting you it is going to leave you open for the same kind of negative treatment in the future. However, what you need to understand is that forgiveness is not the same thing as condoning the offending actions. It is perfectly acceptable for you to enact self-protective plans for the future as part of your forgiveness process. In fact, you want to avoid forgiving people who are constantly hurting you, also known as blanket forgiveness. You do not need to hold a grudge against people in order to protect yourself.

Number five: Get help if you need it
In some cases, it can be very hard to forgive and move on because of the acts being ongoing or traumatic. If you are having problems knowing how to forgive someone who has greatly wronged you in a significant, way it might help you to seek some kind of counseling. A therapist can help you to work through your feelings on a deeper level and they can personally support your throughout the entire process.