Talking to your teen and knowing that they are listening
When you talk to your teen, you often wonder how to tell if they are really listening. All too often our teens send out the message that they do not want to hear what we parents have to say because they simple already know it all. Most of the time that is just an act that your teen is putting on, mostly because they are too embarrassed to talk to you about certain subjects. Other times it is in response to the fact that they do not want to listen to what you have to say because they are upset with you or something that you did. How can we effectively talk to our teens and ensure that they are listening to us?
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Here are some tips to follow when talking to your teen, which can also help ensure that our teens are listening.
Tip one:
Make sure that you are askable to your teen. You want to make sure that you teen know that they can come to with any kind of question that they might have. If your teen comes to you with questions do not jump all over them and start lecturing, instead take the time to understand what it is your teen is asking and provide them with the answer that they are seeking. If you don't know the answer tell them, so and maybe the two of you can find it together. You are also going to want to ask your teen open-ended questions when you are talking to them. This is beneficial because it prevents your teen from using yes or no answers, which most are tempted to do. It will also show your teen that you are interested in what they have to say.
Number two:
Spend time with your teen, even if it seems like the last thing that they want to do is spend time with you. Despite them acting this way many teens look forward to spending alone time with their parents, it also helps if you let them pick what you will be doing for the time spent together. Spending time with your teen can help to strengthen your relationship, but it can also give you time to talk without feeling that the conversation is forced. Having family dinners a few nights a week is another great way to spend time together, as long as you are talking during dinner and not watching TV.
Number three:
When you are talking to your teen, you need to be respectful of them and their feelings. Teens, like adults, like to feel respected and valued. If you only pay attention to your teen on the weekends, meaning on the weekdays you are simply too busy, they are not going to feel that you are interested in them and what they have to say. If you are judgmental of them, and what they have to say, they will also turn away from you. Instead, what you need to do is sit back and listen to your teen, plus what they have to say. Show a genuine interest in what they are talking about and make an effort to listen. Your teens know when you are listening and just pretending to listen, just like you know when they are not really listening to you.
Number four:
Empathize with your teen. Show them that you understand what they are going through, which will make them more likely to open p to you in the future. The only way to show them that you can understand what they are going through is to ignore your adult perception of the situation and accept how your teen's feelings, thoughts, and ideas of the situation as yours.
