The Dynamic of Children
Marriage relationships are hard enough. When children are added to the mix it can make or break a marriage. Children can be a point of stress or a point of joy, so it is important to be ready for them as a couple and as individuals before they are brought into the world so they can be the latter. Both partners in the marriage relationship wanting a child is the first thing on your checklist. Then you have to determine whether you and your spouse are healthy emotionally, physically and financially. Here are some suggestions to help you determine if your marriage relationship is ready for the added dynamic of a child yet. While this doesn't cover everything, the basics will get your started.
Emotionally Healthy
A child, particularly a baby, is hugely demanding. Once you become a mother or father, you are a parent for life. Children come with a no return policy, so know you are making a lifetime commitment with you take the step of introducing them to your family. Before you decide your marriage relationship is ready for children, assess whether it is truly emotionally stable or not. Divorce shatters children's lives no matter how old they are, so make sure you and your spouse are whole, emotionally stable in your relationship, and mentally fit to taking on the challenges of parenthood. You must be absolutely and without question committed to each other and to your marriage relationship. Children put stress on your relationship, so if there are any cracks that need mending, get it done before a baby comes on the scene. Having a child never fixes a broken relationship, so don't imagine it will bring your partner back to you.
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Physically Healthy
The physical health of the mother-to-be is very important, and so is the health of the father. Pregnancy puts a lot of stress on the body. Morning sickness, changes in sleeping patterns, bladder issues, and a whole host of problems can make pregnancy uncomfortable and downright miserable. Make sure the mother-to-be in the relationship is physically healthy before you try to get pregnant. Future fathers also need to be aware of their physical health. You don't want to pass on any diseases or disorders if at all possible. Pregnancy and child-rearing is hard on fathers as well, so being physically healthy is important to both your marriage relationship when children come and the relationship you build with those children.
Financially Healthy
A baby can put an enormous strain on your finances. Be sure you are financially healthy before you consider bringing a child into your family. A child is a huge expense including before it is born. Before you decide that your marriage relationship is ready for a child, sit down and take a look at your budget. Where are you willing to sacrifice in order to be able to afford a child? If you don't already have the money saved, start saving right away. Make sure the job supporting the family is stable. After the child's birth your plans may change. Make sure you have a plan with contingencies if anything happens. Most couples filing for divorce site money as the issue that split their marriage relationship. Make sure you aren't one of those by making sure you are financially healthy before baby is conceived.
