The Key to Communication in Friendships
Generally, when we become friends with someone we have communication similarities with that person. In fact, studies have even been conducted that examine that similarity in communication values as a predictor of friendship choices. To put it simply, one of the main reasons why we choose to be friends with someone in the first place, is because we get along with and are able to communicate with that person. Generally, if someone is so different from you that you cannot carry on a conversation with them, that relationship may be friendly, but chances are it will not develop into a friendship.
As friends we generally have a good idea of what we need to do to communicate well. Most of us are aware of the fact that sometimes it is best to just listed to your friend and other times your friend will come to you for advice. But many times communication, even with friends, hits a wall or we forget to employ our good communication skills. Here are a few simple reminders of what some of the most basic keys to communication in friendship are.
|
|
Think before you speak. How often does a fast tongue and a slow voice of reason causes us to say things that definitely break down bridges when it comes to communication. Emotions are powerful and can lead us to say things that we do not really mean, but that can leave scars that are deep, painful and will take a long time to heal. This key to communication in friendship entails being aware that you have to take into account another person before you open your mouth. Use tact and make sure that what you say is what you mean.
Put yourself in your friend's shoes. Good friends can communicate in a way that is sensitive to their friend's situation. By putting yourself in your friend's shoes, you are leaving your own selfish needs at the door for a while. Giving of your self in a friendship is a force that keeps the friendship healthy. Sympathy is not only feeling sad when your friend is sad or trying to be there for them during the hard times (although these things are certainly signs of a good friend). Sympathy means really trying to share an emotion with your friend even if you yourself have not gone through that same situation. Many times as friends we doubt our abilities to be helpful when we cannot relate to the problems that others are experiencing. Being sensitive to your friend and communicating in a way that you believe best takes into account their emotions is a loving and nurturing way to not only improve the flow of communication but to enhance a friendship.
For some friends the key to good communication has a great deal to do with their environment. Take for example two friends who are also busy housewives. When caring for a household of children it may be difficult to have the time and attention needed to carry on an intelligent conversation. Therefore, a friendship like this may believe that the key to communication is a break from routine and a trip somewhere other than home. Weekly lunches or monthly visits to a spa are common communication retreats.
It is important to point out that keys to communication in friendships are also going to vary by gender. However politically incorrect, men and women are different and therefore communicate differently especially in close friendships. Although there are some obvious similarities, men tend to need recreational time with their friends more than women do in order to keep those relationships healthy.
