Rule # 1 - Don't nag your spouse.
After being with someone for a long time it can be easy to nag them. Talk to your spouse in a nice manner. Remember that they are your equal and they deserve your respect. Just because you want something done on your specific deadline doesn't mean that will be the way it will happen. If you have reminded your spouse to do something, use simple reminders like post-it notes. Don't tell them to do something 50 times, this is called nagging. If you really need their help, ask them nicely. Let them know the time frame you are thinking of so they know when to have the task completed.

Rule # 2 - Communicate with your spouse.
When you are talking with your spouse, give them room to respond to things. Do not talk over them or tell them what to do. Your spouse is your best friend and they want to be treated that way. When they have a hard day, don't bombard them with all of your problems and things you need done. Ask them if you can help them. Allow them to talk about their day and truly listen to what they are saying. If you notice your spouse is in a bad mood, do something that will make them happier. Try giving them some space for awhile so they can relax and unwind. When your spouse is talking, turn off the television and forget the other distractions. Give them your undivided attention with eye contact and non-verbal communication like nodding. Rephrase some of the things they are saying to show them that you are truly interested in what they are saying. If they ask for advice, give it to them.

Rule # 3 - Do not place expectations on your spouse.
Successful marriages do not have expectations set on each other. No two people think alike and men and women think very differently. If you like your home to stay neat and orderly, respectfully inform your spouse and let them know what they can do to help. If you ask them to take out the garbage, don't place an expectation on when it will be done. Most people ask their spouse to do something and expect it to be completed that second. Everyone has their own time table in their head and they will do it when they are ready. Your spouse may do other things to show their appreciation to you. Do not expect them to surprise you with gifts when you want them, allow them to choose a time to do things on their own.

People often base their ideals of marriage off of their parent's relationship. Successful marriages recognize that what may have worked for one couple will not always work for their situation. You must approach a marriage with a different mindset. Talk to your spouse and set goals together as to how you want your marriage to be. A marriage is a blessing and it will be happy for both spouses if they work together and stop comparing their marriage to their parents and other people's.

Rule # 4 - Be a couple, but be individuals too.
Far too often people begin to lose themselves in the marriage and they become depressed. They feel like they do not have any friends besides their spouse and the only interests they have are the same ones as their spouse. In marriage it is important to co-exist with your spouse and it is expected to share similar things, after all this is why you married them. Marriage does not mean that you need to completely change yourself into being a cookie cutter spouse. Marriage is made up of two different people that have chosen to share their lives together. If you enjoy hiking and rock climbing and your spouse doesn't, you still need to make time to do your own activities. Your spouse may enjoy staying home and watching movies instead of going out. Make compromises with your spouse. Let them know when you want to go out and do your own thing so they can plan to do their own thing. A happy couple will enjoy their time apart, but they will be excited to return home to be with their spouse.

Rule # 5 - Accept responsibility.
Your home is a place for both of you to pull your own weight. You should never expect your husband or wife to be in charge of keeping the home clean all the time. This is a shared responsibility, especially if you both work full-time jobs. Having children only increases the messiness in a home. As a couple, you need to teach your children to clean and pick up after themselves. Children will learn by example so it is important to spend time keeping the home clean. The home doesn't need to be spotless, but it only takes a few minutes to vacuum and take out the trash. Make small efforts to clean the home. Instead of doing a total house cleaning in one day, break it down. Take one day to clean all the bathrooms, another for the kitchen, another for the dusting and vacuuming. Small efforts can keep the home tidy and it makes the marriage much easier because it is an warm, inviting environment.

Rule # 6 - Date.
Just because you are married doesn't mean that you need to stop dating each other. Make time to go out on regular dates with your spouse. It will help you both re-connect and learn new things about each other. Try going out once a week or at least once a month. It is easy to forget how to romance your spouse if you don't make an effort. Do things that will surprise your spouse like cooking a gourmet meal and eating a candlelight dinner. Take them to see their favorite sports team, or just go out to a movie in the middle of the week. Think about the needs of your spouse and find ways to please them. Be interested in your spouse's hobbies and opinions. When you give your spouse attention and respect, it will be easier to radiate your blissful marriage to others when you talk about them.

Rule # 7 - Resolve conflicts.
Conflict is a natural part of every marriage. It is important to understand that your spouse cannot read your mind and they will have no idea what you are thinking unless you tell them. When you are having problems with each other, make efforts to resolve the conflicts. Give each other enough time to express what they are thinking and then think about it before you respond. Do not react on emotion, as this usually causes you to say things you will regret later. Never raise your voice and stay calm. Do not allow yourself to become hostile and angry, as this only leads to greater problems in the marriage. Have a calm, rational discussion with your spouse. Once you have resolved the conflict, leave it in the past. Do not bring it up again, forgive and forget. An easy way to quickly resolve conflicts is to keep a warm smile on your face when your spouse is talking and rephrase what they are saying, it shows you are listening to them. Learn how to compromise with your spouse and make sacrifices for each other.

Rule # 8 - Have fun.
You got married because you love this person, they are your best friend, and you enjoy spending time with them. With all the pressures and stresses of daily life, it can be easy for married couples to forget how to have fun with each other. Do things that will make you and your spouse laugh. Play board games or video games together. Go to concerts, movies, and comedy clubs. Do things that allow you both to relax and just enjoy being with one another.

Rule # 9 - Thank them and love them.
It is easy to create a list of all the things we want to change about our marriages and our spouses. If you can list all the negative things about your spouse, you better remember that they have a list of negative things about you. Instead of looking at the things your spouse lacks, look at all the things they have. Look at their talents and the things you admire about them. Tell them how much you appreciate them. When you give them a hug, hold on a little longer and add a kiss. Look into their eyes and tell them how much you appreciate all the things they do for you. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and they deserve to be appreciated for the things that they do. Write your spouse a love note and tell them thank-you for all the things they do on a daily basis.