Theft in relationships

clip71731932.jpgRelationships are always going to be somewhat complex. There are going to be things that upset the balance of things, cause fights, problems, and upsets. There are also going to be the times when things are going really well. So, what do you do when you experience theft in your relationships? Consider the following:

1. Relationships are based on trust, and theft is a severe breach of that trust. Whether your sister, father, or significant other steals from you, theft breaches trust. In your relationship, the person should be able to come to you and ask you for money, items, etc. if they need them, not take them from you. Theft has a way of undermining years of trust, and making you weary, and uncertain around the person. It does not matter what they steal or why, theft dooms a relationship because it kills the one thing required for a relationship to truly be healthy.
2. There is not a good reason for theft. Theft is a serious offense, and if you wanted to report it, they could get a criminal record for it. Even if the theft is small, it is illegal and immoral to take something that does not belong to you without permission, whether it is money or an item. If the person you have a relationship tries to justify their theft, you need to remember that it is a character flaw, and let them know that in relationships you require honesty, and that you expect someone to be able to come to you and ask if they need something. This does not mean you will always give them what they ask for, but that you will not tolerate someone stealing from you, especially someone you have a relationship with. You have to put your foot down, or it will happen again and again.
3. Decide what your line is. If you are okay with them stealing small things from you, what will stop them from stealing larger things. If they are willing to take $10 from your wallet or purse, what would stop them from taking $10,000? The point is, theft is theft, and if you justify or allow "small theft" larger thefts will eventually happen. Usually thieves escalate. The relationship may be important enough to you to forgive a theft, but never make it okay. As soon as you do, you ruin your relationship and condemn it to always being subject to the breach of trust, and the insecurity of never knowing if the relationship is real, or if you are being used.

It is unfortunate, but true that people tend to steal from those they know. It is easier, they have better access to things, and are less likely to be reported or punished for it. However, it is a poison to relationships, and should not be tolerated. Report it to the police, put your foot down, and let them know you love them, but not their actions, and that you will not support such actions, or sit by idly and allow them to happen.

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