Things to think about before you contemplate marriage
Love is a wonderful thing, but it can also make you ignore or blind to potential problems. When you love someone enough to contemplate marrying them, it is important that you consider the following questions:
Are you expecting any changes to occur with the person? Many people go into marriage with an idea in their head of who the person is based on the potential they show, rather than what they actually are. This can be a real challenge to overcome once you are married, because often people do not try as hard once they are officially married, and thus, all those things you thought would change, don't, and other things get worse. So, if you hate how obsessed they are with sports, consider that, as chances are it won't change, and may get worse.
What do you both want for your future? Is it compatible? If she has the idea of being a high-powered career woman, and he is picturing stay at home mom with a brood of children, there could be some real problems. When you are in love, it is easy to think that things will work themselves out eventually, but the truth is, these are the kinds of things you need to talk about before you are legally and lawfully married. If you don't want kids and she does, if you want to live in the city and he pictures the country, if you want new and he wants old, etc. there could be some real challenges. So, make sure you both have similar, compatible goals for the future.
How do you get along with their family? Even though the most important thing is the person you are marrying, you are also going to be part of their family. If you can't stand them, that is something you need to think about, this is especially true because holidays happen, big events occur, and even if you do not live nearby you will always have at least some contact with their family and yours, which means if you can't handle them, it will make things rough. It is always easier if you get along well, enjoy spending time with, and like the in-laws.
How will you divide the responsibilities? These are things that are often overlooked before marriage that can lead to a lot of discord and resentment after. Who will do laundry? Who will do dishes? Who will change the baby's diapers? Who will grocery shop? Who will earn the money that pays the rent or mortgage? If he is going to be working outside the home, does he expect her to be taking care of the household responsibilities? All of them? Discussing how you expect responsibilities to be split before you are emotionally involved in that division is wise.
Money is another issue to consider. Who will earn it? Who will spend it? How will you split it? Joint or separate? These are all very big questions to ask, and it is important to know the answers, as money problems are one of the leading causes of divorce.