Tips for getting along with your teenage son or daughter
Every parent wants to have a good relationship with their son or daughter. But for many parents this good relationship becomes harder to attain once their child enters their teenage years. Most of us remember our teenage years as being a time when we were confused about our place in life or we were trying to figure out where we wanted to be in the next few years. All the while there were hormones to deal with, gossip to manage, relationships to foster, and school work to do. No wonder it is hard to get along with your teen, they have a lot to have to deal with and sometimes they themselves don't even know what they want, how on earth are you supposed to figure out what they want.
Parent first, friend second
Many parents work so hard to be friends with their teens that they neglect their responsibilities as a parent. Sure it is important to have a good relationship with your teen, but you cannot have that good relationship if you are abandoning your responsibilities as a parent. A teen is in desperate need of structure and boundaries. Parents should handle tough situations with love and understanding. There are so many temptations and opportunity for experimentation when your child is a teen. You cannot neglect your responsibility to teach your child the differences between right and wrong. By protecting them from the danger and emotional pain of bad decisions, you are being the kind of friend that they need most, even though your teen may not see things this way.
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Respect your teen's time
Teens have a lot of demands on their time. They go to school full time, work part time, make time to socialize, and spend time doing chores and being with family while at home. A teen's schedule would be overwhelming for most adults. Show your teen that you respect the demands that she has on her time by helping to alleviate some of that stress for her from time to time. Every now and then do one of her daily chores for her or run a special load of laundry just for her. Try to take some stress away from her.
Communicate your expectations
Be clear with your teen about what actions are and are not acceptable and what your family rules are. Teens are expert at finding loop holes in the system. Do not leave any room for interpretation when it comes to how you expect for your teenage son or daughter to act. Of course you should not dictate how your teen should spend every minute of the day, but you should provide a basic structure that your teen can depend on to maintain order in their own lives.
Encourage your teen's input
Ask your teen if they feel like they are being treated unfairly or if they are feeling overwhelmed. When your teen does express a concern do more than just talk about it, as a parent you need to show your teen that you are willing to do whatever it takes to help them out. Hopefully your teen will learn from your example that you are willing to sacrifice your time for them and they will respect you and be motivated to express to you how they feel more often.
Make time for your teen
It is easy as a parent to get caught up in the chores of the day especially if you have other children to care for in addition to your teen. However, time is one of the greatest gifts that you can give your teen. Make sure to set aside some time as often as you feel is necessary where you can invite your teen to talk with you. Make this interactions fun by going to lunch or to a movie as part of your time together. In such a busy world you need to convey the message to your teens that they are worth making time for.
