Tips for getting your toddler to stop hitting
Inevitably, almost all parents go through it - your sweet baby turns into a toddler who throws tantrums, yells, and hits. While this behavior sometimes baffles and worries parents, there are a number of things you can do to teach your toddler to stop hitting.
Parents need to understand that most toddlers display bouts of aggression at some point, and it is not necessarily a reflection of bad parenting-most toddlers just don't know how to channel or express their anger or frustration in a socially acceptable way. However, it is still important that when your toddler hits, he or she knows that the aggression is not appropriate and that you don't approve of his or her behavior.
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The following are some tips for getting your toddler to stop hitting:
- Examine your own behavior. Most toddlers pick up hitting on their own or from older siblings or other children at day care. However, sometimes they can pick it up from parents who may spank or slap as a form of punishment. Try and refrain from punishing your toddler this way, as many times it can actually encourage hitting by modeling that exact behavior you are trying to stop to them.
- Show appropriate alternatives. Sometimes, toddlers may hit without knowing their own strength. Let your child know that it hurts when they hit. Many parents find it helpful to take the child's hand and then model how to behave appropriately, such as stroking someone and saying, "Be soft." Other times, a toddler will hit out of frustration, such as if another child takes a toy. Offer an alternative such as, "Let's share your toys," or "Ask nicely for it back."
- Use time out. If your toddler is old enough to understand the concept of time out, it might be worth a try. When he or she hits, say, "No hitting," and put them in time out for a brief period of time, usually no more than 2 or 3 minutes for a toddler's age.
- Keep a close eye on your toddler. If you know there are certain situations that your toddler is more likely to lash out, such as playing with other kids or when it comes time to share toys, make sure your watch him or her closely and be ready to intervene.
- Make sure you are giving your toddler positive attention. Sometimes, toddlers hit because it brings attention to them, no matter how negative. If you suspect your toddler is hitting for attention, make sure you are giving him attention when he or she is not being bad; that way, he will not need to seek it out in other ways, like acting out or hitting.
- Give attention to the victim first. If your toddler hits another child, make sure you go to the victim first instead of your child and make sure the child is alright before your reprimand your child. Chances are your toddler didn't do much damage, but for the child who is hitting for attention, seeing the child he or she hit get all the attention can help discourage him or her from hitting in the future.
The good news is that hitting is a stage that most children grow out of shortly. The above tips will help you to stop your toddler from hitting.
