Tips for improving mother-daughter relationships
Some mothers and daughter fight a lot, others not at all. However, if your have a strained mother-daughter relationship and want to improve it, there are some things you can do. These relationships are important, as for one you are stuck with them, and for another you should have a bond. So, what can you do to improve a mother-daughter relationship? Try the following:
First, you are going to want to isolate what the root cause of the problem is. For most, one of the key underlying problems in many mother-daughter relationships is that the mother sees the daughter as a "little her" and tries to project onto her. For example, she sees her daughter as someone who she can help avoid certain mistakes, and who can do what she never was able to do. For example, if she never went to college because she married right out of high school she may force her daughter that direction without ever thinking about what the daughter wants.
So, how can you improve the situation if this is the problem? Well, you can try to separate your own feelings from that of your child for one. You have to recognize the simple fact that your child is an individual, and may not want to do the same things you wanted to do at her age, or have the same interests you had. You may be worried about her making mistakes, or having problems in life, but guess what? You are right, she will, but she will also learn from those mistakes just as you did.
If you want to have an improved mother-daughter relationship you need to let your daughter grow and live and learn at her own pace, in her own style. No one likes to be forced to do something they do not want to, and it gets worse when it is a parent forcing them. So, instead be supportive of their goals, encourage improvement, and love them irregardless.
If, as a parent, you want an improved relationship, you need to learn to appreciate your daughter for what she is, and don't try to make her into what you could have been. That is recipe for disaster. Let her follow her own path so she does not have the same regrets you have, or have any reason to hate you.
Besides the don'ts for improving relationships between mother and daughter, there are also do's. If you want an improved relationship you have to work at it. There are certain things that you have to do to form the bonds that lead to good relationships. Like, do not take your daughter or mother for granted. Do not assume they know you love them, tell them, but more than that, try the following:
Do fun things together too. Go get your nails done, or your hair. A lot of times mom's and daughters only interact at home where there are chores to be done, meals to be fixed etc. So, try to interact with one another without the pressures of needing to switch the laundry etc. It is up to you to make the relationship fun as well as responsible, so do things you can enjoy together, and do them often, once a month, or more if possible.
Find something you enjoy doing together and make a tradition or habit of it, like eating lunch out on the first Wednesday of every month, or baking Christmas sugar cookies together, etc. These traditions and habits create positive memories that form stronger bonds.