Tips for keeping communication lines open in marriage
Communicating in marriage can be a very difficult task. No matter if a couple is newly married, raising children, or enjoying retirement, communicating takes effort. This is not because the couple is no longer in love, but simply because two individual people are trying to think like one. If communication issues have put a strain on a marriage, the couple should not give up. Here are a few tips for keeping the communication lines open in marriage.
Eat Meals Together
Sometimes couples get in the habit of eating their meals separately or in front of the television. Either way, they have eliminated an opportunity for communication. Couples should plan on eating their meals together without the television. It may take a few meals, but conversation will naturally occur. Couples should take turns talking about their day, the children, work, or even something they learned that day. Pretty soon they will be cleaning up after meals together just to keep the conversation going a little longer.
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If eating meals together is impossible because of a scheduling conflict, married couples will need to set aside a time for each other. This may be a weekly date night, an hour before bed, or during one of their lunch breaks.
Talk About It
Many times couples have plenty of time to communicate, but they are having a hard time understanding each other. It is easy for couples to become angry with each other in these situations, especially in life is particularly stressful at the time. Couples will need to sit down and talk about their communication issues. This will require a few things:
Listen Actively
Couples will need to practice active listening skills. This does not mean that they simply hear what the other person is saying, but rather they must understand exactly what the other person is trying to communicate. Understanding each other will require patience. The person listening should repeat what their partner has said in their own words so that the person talking can acknowledge that they have been understood. Each person will need to make an effort to honestly understand their partner.
Nobody is Telepathic
Chances are neither person in the married couple is telepathic. This means that each person will need to vocalize their needs to their partner. Sometimes couples feel like subtle hints or certain facial expressions will communicate exactly how they are feeling, but in reality they will not. Partners should put their needs into words so that their partner can understand them. When couples expect their partners to read their mind they can become angry and create additional strain on a relationship.
Practice
Couples will not master communication if they do not practice. Sometimes married couples decide they cannot communicate and begin spending more and more time apart. The best thing couples can do is spend time together in an environment that promotes communication. Take walks, have a picnic, take a drive without the radio, or play games.
Couples will always need to keep working on their communication because each partner will evolve through the course of the marriage. Couples will need to continually place themselves in situations where they have opportunity to communicate. They will also need to practice good listening skills, remember their partner cannot read their mind, and be willing to talk about ways to improve in order to keep communication healthy throughout their marriage.
