Tips for speaking to friends with candor
Candor is speaking with frankness or sincerity of expression; speaking with openness. Candor is speaking with complete honesty. Wouldn't it be great to live in a world where everyone is honest? Some may say no because they may not want to hear the truth. Speaking candidly can be hard, but it can be done in a kind and loving way and it can change the outcome of any situation.
If you have a good friendship then you should be able to speak openly and honestly. When you speak candidly it is a way for people to truly get to know you and for you to get to know them. When speaking with candor, you run the risk of sounding foolish. If you decide to stay quiet, and avoid the risk, you will cheat yourself and others of feedback. Or you can say what you think, risk sounding foolish, and be willing to apologize when needed. You will in turn have a life filled with more real friendships. Friends owe it to friends to be as candid as possible.
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So, how do you go about speaking candidly to friends? Here some tips for speaking to friends with candor:
Be supportive
Speak with the intent of supporting your friend, not in a way that hurts them or brings them down. You can speak with candor without hurting someone's feelings. Being honest and frank is good in a relationship, just remember not to be rude and degrading when you are doing it.
Be willing to listen
It's great that you can speak openly to your friend, but don't forget to listen in return. Your friend may have some important feedback regarding what you have said and they may also have some words of honesty for you.
Make sure your friend is listening
A lot of times when speaking honestly or frankly with someone, they tend to tune you out or may misunderstand you. It may be hard for your friend to hear the truth. Periodically stop and see if your friend is listening. See if you can fill in any gaps or explain any misunderstandings.
Don't rehearse it
When speaking with candor, just come right out and say it. Speaking the truth comes out more honestly if you say it from the heart in that moment, not if you rehearse it and have the time to "sugar coat" it.
We usually always have a choice if we say what's on our mind or not. People usually withhold their thoughts, in fear of offending or being misunderstood. Then again, if everybody shared all their thoughts when they occur then that may be taking it too far. The key is to speak in a truthful, honest way that will help us as well as others.
Telling the truth and talking about your feelings can be hard, but it will help heal your relationships. After expressing strong emotions you will find that there is probably more to what you have said. You may realize that when you feel angry, that may just be an underlining meaning of fear. If you don't express honestly what you are feeling then you may never know what it is that is really the issue.
Following these tips in speaking to friends with candor can strengthen your friendships if done correctly. Remember to speak from the heart with honesty. Telling the truth can be hard, but it can be life altering. Just speak the truth and hope that others do the same.
