Most feelings of having an ungrateful spouse stem from a perceived imbalance in the amount of effort being exerted by one member of the partnership. Each spouse has a set schedule for the day but their tasks are carried out independently of each other. Therefore, one partner is likely to not have a very good grasp on exactly what the other partner spends their time doing. What we do understand is what we have personally been busy doing. For example, a mother or housewife spends an entire day cleaning, cooking, caring for children and maintaining the house. That job seems never ending as there is always something additional that needs to be done. The man of the house, in this traditional example, spends all day at the office, in meetings, on conference calls etc. It is a challenge for each partner to fully appreciate what the other one is feeling, but it is much easier to let frustration and being emotionally drained take over and the end result is to point the finger at your "ungrateful" spouse.

While many couples can work through their feelings of being underappreciated by gaining a greater understanding for how much his or her spouse actually takes on in a day, there are many instances when one spouse really is to blame. Instead of trying to be understanding, there are some couples who have more serious issues struggling with understanding one another. There are definitely cases when one partner really does do more than his or her fair share in the relationship and trying to work with the other partner on increasing appreciation seems like an uphill battle. Trying to make someone understand your point of view is challenging, especially if that person is not fully willing to try to see things from your perspective. If you have tried to have your "ungrateful spouse" figuratively walk in your shoes and have had no success, the next option that you have is to try to reconcile the issues present within yourself.

This is not to say that you should just accept that your spouse is not going to appreciate you as much as you would like so you just need to live with it. Rather, you may simply want to think of how a compromise could remedy the situation. For example, if you feel like your efforts to cook a meal go unseen, you may want to ask your spouse to cook one meal a week. If you spend a great deal of time ensuring that your home remains spotless, you could give yourself a break and let a few things slide. When you are feeling particularly frustrated, it is ok to leave the sink full of dirty dishes for a day or to put off some other project that is not a priority. Make sure that your own hurt feelings do not prevent you from putting your pride aside and trying your best to make sure that your partner does not feel like the ungrateful spouse. Remember, a marriage will from time to time require sacrifice. If you seriously feel like your sacrifices go above and beyond what they should, you may want to seek out professional marital advice.