Ways to make up with friends
Arguments between two friends happen everyday; the way you deal with it becomes more important as you try to salvage whatever friendship is left. You probably both said some ugly words, and now nobody's saying anything. Sound familiar? So how do you figure out a way to make up with friends before it's too late? Nobody wants to make the problem worse, and nobody likes to be the first to admit they were wrong. So here are some helpful tips on ways to make up with friends.
Be Assertive. If you have been sitting in your house for three days contemplating whether or not you should be the one to make the first move, stop thinking. I know everyone hates to make the "first" call, but someone has to do it and by making that call you are in essence telling your friend that she or he is worth the call. Just because you are making the first call does not mean you have to come out and take all the blame for the argument. This is just the first step towards getting the friendship back on track. If you find yourself thinking "why should I make the first move?" then try and think of some reasons as to why your friend acted the way she did. Did you say something offensive? Did she misunderstand what you were saying? Remember there are always two sides to every story. Try and put yourself in her shoes for a minute. Think about what's going on in her life rather than just your own. This might make it easier to make the first phone call.
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Know why you are calling and what you will say. If it's not to apologize for your wrong doing, then why are you making the call? Do you want to just talk? How will you approach the topic of what went wrong? There are a number of things to consider before making that important call. Go over things in your head. Have a mawk conversation with yourself about how she will react to you calling and what you have to say. Are you the kind of person who likes to get right to the point? Is your friend that kind of person? The best way to start out a conversation with someone who has been offended and hurt by you is expressing how much you care about them and value the friendship you have. Let them know how upsetting it has been not talking with them the last three weeks/ days or however long it has been. Let them know that you have missed them and would like to figure out a way to work things out. This might enable them to let their defense guard down a little, and let them let you talk with them.
Be prepared for all types of responses. Depending on your friend and how she reacts to things, the conversation could go in any direction. She could be open and receptive to you initiating the first call, or she could give you the cold shoulder. If the latter happens, don't freak out. She may have been totally caught off guard by the phone call and need a little time to figure out what she wants to say to you. If she does not want to talk then say goodbye politely and ask if you can call back in a couple of days or so. If she does not want to talk on the phone try writing her a letter to express how you are feeling. Some people respond better to written letters as they are not as confronting. As you have made the first move, you can then leave the ball in her court. If she does however wish to talk with you on the phone here are some things that might make the conversation easier:
- Apologize for your part of the argument. You do not have to take full blame for the fight, but you obviously played a part in it so take responsibility for your part. If you were offended by something she said, then try apologizing for being so sensitive about that particular subject. Or apologizing for not handling yourself a little more politely.
- Reinforce the positive characteristics about your friendship. Tell her that talking with her really helps relieve stress; or that you really look forward to your "girls' night out."
- As you end the conversation be kind and caring. Let her know how nice it has been to talk with her again and that you really miss her. Even if things are not totally patched up, ask if she wants to get some ice cream or something.
Nobody likes to fight with friends, and nobody likes to find ways to make up with friends. Remember to think about how they are feeling and make the best of an awkward situation.
