What things should you keep from your spouse?
Things that should be kept from you spouse would be: anything that would hurt that person unnecessarily, things that have been told to you in confidence by a friend. Certain things from your past that do not affect either of you now should be kept from your spouse. Another thing that should be kept from your spouse would be any negative feeling about any one in your spouse's family.
One secret couples keep from each other is an attraction to another person. People have fantasies about other partners all the time but they never plan to act on these fantasies. Most married couples keep quiet about their fantasies so they don't hurt their spouse's feelings, and that's okay. Most people couldn't handle having a spouse say to them, 'My fantasy is to make love with our neighbor." Some fantasies are okay to be shared with your spouse and others are better kept to yourselves. There is no sense in hurting your spouse's feeling and getting them upset over something you would never act on.
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Another secret couples should keep from each other is something that is told to them in confidence from a friend. When someone tells you something and says "please don't tell anyone" you should respect that persons request and not tell anyone. If you break the friend's confidence in you, you could lose that friend forever. Obviously that friend trusts you enough to confide in you and you should not do anything to break that trust. Besides if you tell your spouse what your friend has told you, your spouse may look at that friend differently, and that could put a strain on your friendship. Some things said between friends are better left between friends. Remember just because you understand your friend and can look at what they are going through objectively does not mean that your spouse can do the same. If you feel that you have to tell your spouse everything then you should let that friend know that you will tell your spouse, that you and your spouse have no secrets, and let the friend decide weather or not to tell you.
Another secret couples should keep from each other is past relationships and intimacies. And that is okay, most people really don't like to hear what you did with so and so even if they say, "I know you had a life before me." Some things are just better left alone and unsaid. It is okay to keep your past life to your self and not share everything; after all do you think your spouse has told you everything about their past relationships? You shouldn't tell your spouse something that you know will hurt their feelings or make them feel uneasy, especially when it does not affect either of you at this point.
Another secret couples should keep is any negative feelings about their in-laws. You may not agree with your spouse's mother and that is okay but it is still your mother-in-law and you should keep these feeling to yourself as not to hurt your spouse. You should never say anything negative about your spouse's family, even if your spouse is being negative. Its okay for you to say negative about your family but no one else has that right, most of the time the person is just venting and doesn't really mean the nasty things they are saying. If you play into this conversation with negative comments then your spouse will get their feelings hurt and possibly even resent you for things you have said about their family.
