What to do if you feel a friendship is one sided (you always invite, call, etc.)
Friendship can be one of the strongest relationships in a person's life. Friendship has many different levels and those levels can vary depending on the way a person views a friendship. Some people may treasure friendship and work very hard to keep their friendships healthy, while other people may view friendship as a casual relationship that does not hold much meaning. When people with different views of friendship try to be friends with each other, one person could feel like the friendship is one sided. Here is what to if a friendship feels one sided.
Evaluate the Friendship
If a friendship feels one sided, the first thing a person should do is evaluate the friendship. They should consider what could be keeping the other person in the friendship from being involved. Is the other person working, have a family, have other groups of friends, etc? This evaluation could reveal why a relationship feels one sided.
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Also, someone who feels they are carrying the weight of a friendship should consider how long they have been friends with the other person. If they have only been friends for a short while, they should consider the thought that maybe the friendship has not had time to grow. Sometimes people expect a new friendship to instantly be as deep and meaningful as another friendship that has had years to flourish.
Express Concerns
If after evaluating a friendship a person has not figure out why the relationship feels one sided, they should consider speaking with their friend about their feelings. When one person feels like the responsibility to call or set up activities is solely on them, they may feel taken for granted. It is important that both people in a friendship sit down and discuss the issue. It is possible that the other person did not realize they had not been a good friend. Or, they may have a legitimate reason for acting aloof. No matter what, each person needs to apply excellent communication skills and be patient in order to ensure the conversation does not further injure the friendship.
Be Considerate
An evaluation of a relationship or a discussion with a friend might help the person that feels overburdened with the responsibility of a relationship see that the other party is extremely busy. They may want to share the responsibility of the friendship, but because of work or family they may not be able to. Be considerate of their circumstances and try to work with them
Also, it is possible that the other party is not in a financial position to do the things that have been planned. This could cause a friend to never call or plan an activity. Be considerate of their situation and try and plan activities that make the friend feel more comfortable. If they want the friendship to grow, they will begin to call and plan activities too.
Stop Calling
Sometimes after evaluating a friendship it may become apparent that the other person simply does not value the friendship or is too busy to commit to the friendship as much as the other. Continuing to call the person or plan activities for them may simply lead to more anguish or frustration.
Friendships are very complex relationships made up of many elements. If a friendship feels one sided, there are a number of steps that can be taken.
