What to do to start off right with the in-laws
To start off right with your in-laws try the following:
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- Find something good to focus on. A lot of people struggle with the in-laws because they have different ideas of how life should be lived. They want what is best for their child, and they may not agree with what you think is best for their child. They may think you aren't best for their child. This is not something you can control. What you can control, is how you react to it. So, decide now that you are going to focus on the good. Even if the only good you can find is that they have a great son or daughter.
- Develop a relationship. A lot of times the reason you do not start off right with the in laws is because you never develop more than a casual relationship with them. They know their child loves you, but unless you develop a relationship with them, they will not be able to know why. So, do what you need to develop a relationship with them. If you do not live in close proximity, at least keep them updated on your life with the phone and with email. Sometimes just letting them be part of your life, even as just a viewer, is what they need to be happy with you.
- Spend quality time together. Most people that do not start out right with their in laws ever take time to get to know them. This is not done by being in the same room with your in laws, it is done by spending some one on one time with them. You need to call your mother or father in law up and ask them to shop with you, to go eat with you, to see a game, or a concert, or whatever it is you need to do together with them and have some quality time. Do not count family gatherings, or times you see them in passing. Make the effort and you will find that starting out right with the in laws in not nearly as difficult as most people think.
- Show gratitude for their child. A great way to start off right with the in laws is to smother them with praise. People love praise, and if you spend some time telling them how much you appreciate them for their son or daughter, and for the wonderful qualities that you love about their son or daughter, they will just think you are the sweetest. So, show that you are grateful for their child, and make sure they know you know that they are part of the reason you got such a great guy.
- Do not dwell on the negative. If they have done or said something to offend you, or hurt you, you are not going to be able to start off right with them if you focus on it. If you feel comfortable address them about the subject. Let them know why it hurt you, then get over it. If you dwell on the negative, the chances of a good relationship with your in laws is low.
- Make it a goal. You have to want to start off right with the in laws to do so. So, make it a goal. This is important. If you make it a goal to start off right, you will let the little things just roll off your back, and you will be able to show them love, even if they are not really lovable. This is huge! So, set a goal, and determine the specific steps you need to take to get there.
