2. Don't point it out: The last thing your daughter needs is for you to rub in the fact that she did not get asked. So, if you want to talk about her not getting asked, instead of saying, "Oh my gosh, you did not get asked to the dance? What are you going to do?" say, "Hey, since you do not have plans for (night of dance) how would you feel about ____________?" That gives her the opportunity to talk to you about it if she wants, and it presents her with another option.
3. Plan something: It will bother your daughter before the dance that she has not been asked yet, but it will really stink the night of the dance, so one of the best ways to help her to get over it is to have something else for her to do. If she can make an excuse for why she was not at the dance, she will feel less embarrassed by the fact that she was not asked. So, see if her boss will schedule her to work, go out of town as a family for the weekend, or simply take her shopping and let her spend the money you would have spent on a dress, and get something fun. As a little kid distraction probably worked well, and it is almost equally effective for a teenager.
4. Figure out why: Usually when your daughter is not asked to a dance it is for a reason. Maybe the boy that wanted to ask her did not have enough money to pay for the dance. You could chip in, but do it in a way that won't make him feel stupid. Offer to make the dinner, or buy the pictures because you want them for your house, or something else. If your daughter is shy, and so boys don't know her, try to set her up.
5. Help her feel good about herself: When your daughter does not get asked to a dance it can be a real blow to her self esteem. You need to ensure that she still recognizes her self worth, and that something little like a school dance will not mean much down the road. So, write her a note and tell her all of the amazing qualities you admire in her. Have her friends make a video about what they love about her, and surprise her with it, (but don't say anything about the dance in it). Remind her how much everyone likes her, and how much you enjoy having her as a part of your family.
Help your daughter feel special and loved, even if she does not get asked to the school dance. Make sure she knows that it is not because of her, and that she can have fun doing something else. Be there for her, and recognize that even the tough girls hate being left out.