What to know about destructive relationships

The following is some of what you should know about relationships, and what you should know about destructive relationships:

  1. Why we have relationships. Every relationship that we have, is to make us feel happy. The whole idea is to be with someone we can relate with and feel joy in their presence. So, if your relationship does not give you this joy, it is probably a destructive relationship.
  2. How relationships give us joy, and destructive relationships don't. We relate to each other to get and give joy to each other in various ways. These ways can be just having company, physical pleasure, good conversation, intellectual stimulation, etc. In destructive relationships these same things, physical contact, company, and conversation can cause hurt and pain. Such as being belittled in every conversation, put down when you are with someone, or abused physically or sexually.
  3. A destructive relationship is not necessarily a relationship with no meaning, it is a relationship where one partner is feeling like they are being destroyed. If this is the case, and unless there is some reason that can be identified and rectified, the relationship should be broken.
What kind of relationship can be called destructive?

There is no right or wrong answer for defining destructive relationships. However, the following are some indications that you are in a destructive relationship:

  • If you start feeling afraid of your partner. This does not have to be fear from physical nature. It can be fear of not being accepted, etc.
  • If your partner finds fault with whatever you do. This can be small things, or large. However, if you start to feel like you can't do right in their eyes, you probably can't. This is destructive.
  • If you are laughed at by your partner in front of others. In relationships you should trust one another and your partner should stand by you, stick up for you, and build you up. In a destructive relationship they tear you down, especially in public.
  • If your freedom to make your own life plan is halted by your partner. If someone does not let you pursue your dreams and goals, or tries to keep you from doing what you want, they are probably trying to control you. This is destructive.
  • If you feel very unhappy during times in your relationship. Some sadness and frustration is normal, but being really unhappy is not. So, if you find yourself being extremely unhappy as a result of something in your relationship, that means it is a destructive relationship.
  • If you ever feel like leaving immediately and running away. Wanting to hide from, or be extremely far from the person you are with is a huge sign that you are in a destructive relationship.
  • If you have no trust in your partner. Red flags should go up, get out!
  • If you are given no choice to grow as a person. Relationships should help you grow and be better and more, not limit you. If your relationship is limiting you, it is likely destructive.

So what should you do if you are in a destructive relationship?

If you are in a destructive relationship you should know that usually this destructive behavior is not easily stopped or changed, and that talking about it does little good. Your best option is to consult some responsible person or agency and get away from the relationship as soon as possible.

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