Prepare your child (or children) before there is going to be an addition to your family. It is very important that you tell your older child that you are going to have another baby (or adopt) long before the baby actually comes home. This is not news that should be kept secret. It is very important that you explain this news in the right context. It is most helpful if you can explain why you are having or adopting a baby without making it your children's responsibility. For example you can say "We really love children so we wanted another one," rather than, "We thought you would like a baby brother" (which will not be
true every minute!). The children can then be involved in helping prepare for the new baby. It may also be helpful to have your child or children attend a sibling preparation class and are able to see what a newborn can and cannot do.
 Help your child adjust to the new addition to your family. You can encourage but never force your older children to hold or be photographed with the baby. It can also be helpful if you can provide opportunities for your older children to help care for the baby with close supervision, but do not require that they help. Be sure to praise any ways in which your older children help, make good observations about the baby, or are able to soothe or interest the baby. It is also crucial that you show and say that you understand any angry feelings your older children have, but notice and limit aggressiveness promptly so that they know that you will protect the baby from their impulses. Also be sure to spend special one on one time with each child so no one feels left out.
 Help each of your children feel valued at whatever age they are. It is very important that each child knows what is expected of them but be sure to keep your expectations for behavior, rules about household responsibilities, and privileges consistent with each child's age and level of maturity. With this be sure and help your children see the advantages that come with age and development. Give praise liberally and avoid comparisons between children.
 Deal with the inevitable fights according to severity. It is best that you avoid trying to decide who started a fight; usually all the children involved have some responsibility. By giving a consequence for all the children involved will encourage them to avoid fights in the future. It is best to ignore minor squabbles to avoid reinforcing this behavior with your attention. Though you can listen to all sides of louder squabbles, and then encourage your children to resolve the situation themselves. If one sibling repeatedly hurts another that is a warning sign that should be discussed with a health care professional.
 Be proactive about not allowing bullying! Separate your children when bullying does occur and make sure the message is clearly received that it is not acceptable. If you have a child that is a chronic bully be sure to supervise that child closely. It can also be helpful to arrange for your child to spend time with peers or siblings who can reinforce social skills by exhibiting positive behaviors.