Next you need to consider yourself. A lot of times, when you consider divorce you do a lot of self reflection. You think about your life, where you wanted to be, where you are, the path that got you there, etc. This "inward reflection" is healthy, and a lot of the times it can save you the heart ache of divorce because you may find out some things about yourself that you may not like. You may find that you too played a part in getting to where you are, and the level of your happiness. So consider yourself, and what role you played. The blame game gets ugly in divorce, so be honest with yourself.

Next you need to consider your emotional state. Many people end up making the mistake of not being fully aware that people don't make clear decisions during heightened emotional times. So, they make a decision and think it is the right one, and once their emotions have a chance to settle, they are filled with various regrets. Emotion clouds judgment and bad decisions are made when the wrong side of your brain produces something by using emotion rather than intellect. So, use logic and intellect as much as you can when you are considering divorce. Do not let hurt feelings and confused emotions run the day. Be as impartial as you can, and as emotion free as possible or at least emotion aware as you make this difficult decision.

The next thing you need to consider before deciding on divorce is how it will affect the other people in your life. No one should ever stay with their spouse for someone else, however, divorce can not be a purely selfish decision either because it does affect people besides the two married. It is like an a-bomb. There are those directly affected, and then there are those that get the results that spread in the air, etc. So, consider your children, your extended family, your mutual friends. How will their lives change if you make this big change? For example, if your dad goes golfing with your husband every Saturday, and you get divorced, what should your dad do? Should he continue golfing with his golf buddy, or find a new one? These are all things you will want to consider and talk about before deciding on divorce. This is especially important if you have children.

Divorce is a big decision, so many people get married without thinking it through, and this leads to divorces that are not well thought out. Divorce is expensive and it is time consuming, and it is energy consuming. So, consider your role, and quit placing blame for a while. Consider why you married the person in the first place. Consider how others will be affected. Consider how your life will change, and if your disagreement, or differences are really worth the upheaval, or if you should give your marriage another chance.