1. It is messy.
2. It is hurtful.
3. It takes time to sort out.
4. It is never a good idea.
5. It damages more than just you (especially if you have kids).

When it comes to what you should know about cheating in marriage, the number one rule is never do it! You are married because you decided that you love the person enough to commit to them fully. Cheating breaks trust, hearts, and can really devastate someone's confidence and ability to have a relationship with you. However, if you have already cheated, there are some things you can do.

So, you have cheated on your partner. You could not control yourself and you cheated on them. How are they supposed to feel? Well, if you love your partner and you value your relationship above everything, you will be thinking about that day and night. You are probably worried that if you tell your partner about your cheating, the relationship will break down. However, until you tell your partner your conscience is over weighed. So, the question becomes, what should you do?

First, you have to assume the worst, and plan for it. So, let's look at the presumption that the relationship might break up. If they told you they cheated, what would you do? Keep that in mind if you reveal your cheating. No relationship can be one-sided, and cheating is big blow. So, because you cheated you have to start back at square one and not just assume that your partner knows you care for and love them, but show them. The first way to show them is be honest with them and tell them what happened. Do not go into detail about what physical intimacies you shared with someone else, just explain the circumstances (no excuses), apologize, recognize your low actions, and ask for forgiveness. Then, do not expect it.

Your partner may get hurt, but will they break up with you? If they do, you can't blame them, but you also have to help them recognize that breaking up the relationship essentially means that your partner could not tolerate a mistake and the relationship was not strong to begin with. Do not try to act like what you did is not a big deal, but help them see how your relationship is a bigger deal.

DO NOT buy them flowers, gifts, or expensive dinners. This is a time for spending time with them and rebuilding a friendship, not trying to buy their love. Even if you want to buy flowers because you love them, it will send the wrong message, wait until things are more stable.

After doing something like cheating, it will be very difficult for your partner to be close to you. Intimacy will be lost for a time. You will not have their trust, they will not want to confide in you. So, instead of trying to rush this, give the person time to accept and move forward. If they can't, they will likely break things off, if they can, it may be a long hard road, but you will have to work to regain their trust, and re-prove yourself as a loving partner.

Cheating is not an act of love, it is an act of selfishness; selfishness and marriage can not coincide, so either stop being selfish, or end the marriage. You have to choose one path or the other, and you have to be committed to protecting your fragile relationship until it re-grows its strength.