When family ties are stressed by a move
Americans are on the move. More then ever before families are having to uproot and move to another city, state or even country. These moves usually occur because of an employment opportunity for one or both parents in the home but they can cause a huge amount of stress on family ties. Family members may feel overwhelmed as they try to settle into new jobs, schools and friendships. This in turn can cause family members to pull away from each other at a time when they should be drawing closer. But the good news is that if you and your family are anticipating a move (or have just moved) there are things that you can do to strength family ties and reduce the stress of moving. Here is what you can do when family ties are stressed by a move-
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- Allow a safe place for communicating. Sometimes in the stress of trying to settle into a new life family members feel that they are not being heard. While you may want to limit the amount of whining that goes on understand that this is part of the adjustment. Let family members vent their stress, fears and insecurities about their new lives. If they want help then other family members can then offer support or advice. Allowing for open and honest communication about how it is really going can help bring your family closer as they make this adjustment.
- Reestablish the old family traditions right away. It is important to reestablish or set up new family traditions right away. This can help lesson the pain of loss from the old surroundings. If your family loved to picnic in the backyard or watch Saturday morning cartoons all together no matter how hectic the move start the family traditions right away. This will help all the family members realize that despite being in a new house in a new place their family is still the same.
- Start some new family traditions as soon as possible. To help ease the transition and welcome yourselves to your new home you may also want to incorporate something new into your family traditions. Perhaps you can set up a family excursion that allows you to check out nearby shops and restaurants together. This way you find a place that you call like. Try visiting the local farmer's market, museums or other attractions that may be different from where you have just moved. Not only will you start to feel more at home but you may find places and things to do as a family that will continue to bring you closer.
- If possible allow for short visits back to your old home. Sometimes the transition to new place needs to occur in stages. If your children have left friends behind they may find it difficult to suddenly have no contact with them. If it is possible arrange for times that all of you can go back and see family and friends in your old hometown. It can help to break away gradually and you may find that your new home really is the place for you after all.
- Watch for problems. The bottom line is moving is a stressful situation for all family members. While there is certainly a period of adjustment things should gradually get better. If one or more family members seem unable to adjust after a few months you may want to consider some family counseling. Depression can manifest itself in poor performance in school, lack of friends, sleeping too much or lack of appetite. If you are concerned about your family members adjustment after the move do not hesitate to contact your health care provider for a evaluation and referral to a trusted family counselor that can help all the family members adjust to their new home.
