When family ties are stressed by illness
One of the most difficult things that families can go through is when one member of the family has a serious illness. Whether the illness is traumatic and sudden or is a chronic problem this can cause serious stress on family ties. The illness of a family member changes the normal family dynamic in many different ways. This change can often accelerate the stress on the ties between family members. However there are steps that you can take that will help the additional stress of having a family member dealing with a serious illness. Here is what you can do when family ties are stressed by illness-
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- Educate the all of the family members when appropriate. If you have a family member who is dealing with a serious illness it can really help family closeness if everyone knows what is going on. While young children may not be able to understand all of the information or ramifications you can still work with them to help them understand what is happening. This can also help promote family closeness because the family then feels that they are in the fight together with their ill family member.
- Consider family counseling. If you have a family member who is dealing with a long-term or life threatening illness it will dramatically change the day to day living aspect of your family. As the family routine is disrupted this can cause family members to grow apart. Family counseling can be a safe place for family members to address concerns, vent feelings and gain insight as to how other family members are feeling. This in turn can promote deeper family ties. In addition many children who are living in a home with a sick family member are often worried that this is their fault or that their parents may not love them the same etc. This can be a chance to reassure children that this is not the case.
- Try to take a break from the illness if you can. If parents are caught up in doctor's visits, therapy etc it can seem like that is all the family is doing. If you can try to take a break from anything that has to do with the illness (this can help the sick family member too). This may mean a picnic in the park, movie night at home or some other way that all the family members can reconnect that has nothing to do with the illness. This can not only deepen family ties but reassure all family members that life goes on despite the problems that are occurring.
- Reassure each family member that they are valued and loved within the family. Setting up a spotlight time for each family member even in the middle of a medical crisis can be a good thing. Taking the time to recognize each family member for what they are doing (outside of the current medical situation) validates how important each member of your family is. Notes, phone calls (even between siblings) and small acts of kindness can go a long way toward relieving the stress that having a sick family member brings. An no matter the prognosis of the ill family member reassuring each person in the family that things will be all right can go a long way to strengthening family ties.
- Have the family become involved where they can. Sometimes family members (especially siblings of an ill child) feel left out and helpless. If appropriate have your child or children become involved in some productive way. Whether volunteering in the hospital, doing a "cause walk" or simply relieving parents at the bedside of the ill family member can make each person feel involved and close to the other family members.
