Determine, if you can, why you don't: It is hard to change sex drive if you do not pinpoint the reasons for your lack of desire. Sometimes the problem is easy to solve, such as getting more rest so that you have the energy to want intimacy. Other times the problem is not as simple.

• Is your partner not attractive to you?


• Are you too tired from your day?


• Are you insecure with yourself?


• Is your libido just slowing down?


• Do your have children who touch you and climb on you all day so that thought of being touched more is repulsive to you?

Try to address or remedy the problem: Once you have asked the right questions and tried to determine your reasons for low sex drive, it is time to do what you can to remedy the problem.

Make it more exciting. If you have been with the same sexual partner for a long time, as most married couples are, it can help greatly to do something to make it more exciting. Sometimes lack of desire comes from it being mundane enough to be put on the backburner, so things like extra sleep, or finishing a movie are more appealing. Only you can determine what will make it more exciting for you, but make a list, and try something different. Maybe try new places. Maybe try new positions. Maybe try role play, or introduce toys or something into it.

Dress up: Changing who you are can change how you feel. Lingerie is a big industry because it helps people feel sexy, but it also helps them feel like someone other than themselves. You can role play and take on a character other than yourself. You may feel silly at first, but if it can help you want it, that silliness is a small price to pay.

Get lotions, lubes, etc. There are times when you want to want it, but you don't because it is uncomfortable, or not fulfilling. You may need to help yourself out some with the aid of lotions, lubes, etc. Lubrication can help alleviate much discomfort, and stimulating lotions and rubs can help your body get ready.

Talk to a doctor. Sometimes lack of sex drive is a medical issue. There could be something serious, like a tumor that is pushing on something and repressing feelings, or you may simply have a hormone imbalance that is easily remedied. It can be embarrassing to tell your doctor that you have no interest in sex, but talking to them can help you overcome the problem and improve your relationship.