When your friends are too controlling

peoplegesturing7622291.jpgWhen your friends are too controlling you, do not have very many options. Either you can quit being friends with them or you can learn to deal with their controlling ways. If you decide to deal with their controlling behavior there are some things that you can do to make it easier.

Here are some things that you can do to help deal with friends when they are too controlling.

Number one: Go with the flow

When dealing with people who are too controlling it is very important for you to remain calm. You need to do your best to not allow people who are trying to control you to push your buttons. You need to remain calm and then within your best abilities work with the person to understand what it is they want or need. If it is something unreasonable, tell them that in a calm manner. You need to remember that people can only control us so much. People who are controlling feel a strong need for control and try to get that by controlling you. If you act like you are totally in control, calm and happy, your friends will usually settle down and stop trying to control you so much.

Number two: Keep the controlling person informed

Controlling people are trying to act like an overprotective parent, which can drive anybody crazy. One way to stop this behavior is to keep your controlling friends informed about what is going on, the more often you are in contact with them the better. The reason for this is that the more information that they have, the less they will worry and fret, which means the less likely they will feel they need to control you.

Number three: Re-define your relationship or role

Being friends with a controlling person means that the same issues are going to keep coming up, whether it is about how you cook or how you drive. You need to pinpoint the areas that are causing problems and then sit down and talk to your friends about what is going on. If possible, try to work out an arrangement where the person who is best at the task does it from then on. If both parties stick to their roles it can save a lot of grief later, and it gets the controlling person off your back.

Number four: Ego stroking

People who are trying to control others usually do this because they do not feel good about themselves in certain areas. For example, if they do not feel good about demonstrating their feelings, they use controlling others to help them cope and to distract themselves. What you can try doing is bolstering their self-esteem a little bit, sometimes that will stop them from feeling the need to control everything. One way to do this is to compliment them when they say or do something you like or that you thought was nicely done.

Number five: Be assertive with respect
In some cases, people who are controlling go too far and ask for too much too often. When it reaches this point or even right before it reaches this point you are going to need to be assertive and state to your friends your position, plus how you feel about what is going on, do this by using "I" statements. When telling people how you feel make sure that you are being assertive not aggressive. Let them know the facts as you see them, plus where you are drawing the line. You also need to reassure them that you are on their side and are still friends with them, but some things need to stop.

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