When you are betrayed it can be extremely difficult to swallow. For example, let's say you are out with friends and one of them starts in on you. They tell you what an awful person you are, and how rude they think you are. They tell you that you are too blunt, and not thoughtful of others. You may feel betrayed by your spouse not because of anything they did or said, but because of what they did not do or did not say. They are supposed to be your biggest fan, your closest ally, and the person you turn to for comfort. If they sit idly by and let others attack you, and do not offer you comfort or support, it can feel like a betrayal. It may leave you wondering, "If I can't count on them to stick up for me, who can I count on?"

These kinds of betrayals often hurt worse then one of cheating or lying. They are harder to understand, and can leave you with a bitter taste in your mouth. So, what should you do about it?

The answer to that questions depends a lot on who you are and how betrayed you feel, but in general the following is a good approach:

Step one: Make sure you understand your feelings. Sometimes you are just mad. You do not even know why for sure. So, take the time to examine the source of those feelings. Maybe you are insecure, or maybe you need your spouse to be your knight in shining armor and rescue you, or maybe you don't like having to ask for comfort. Figure out how you feel, and clarify it for yourself first.

Step two: Explain your feelings of betrayal to them in easy to understand terms. If you launch in on them, they are going to get defensive and you will never be able to remedy the situation. So, instead of, "You betrayed me." Or "You did not stick up for me." Say something like, "I was being attacked, and it hurt that the person who is supposed to care about me the most did not step in to do anything." You have to put it in understandable terms that state your feelings, and clarify them.

Step three: Know what would make you feel better, reestablish trust, or mend the hurt for you. Your spouse may betray you without realizing it, and may want to do anything they can to make it right, but until you know what they can do to make it right, they won't be able to. Do you need them to acknowledge their betrayal? Do you need them to hug you? Buy you a make-up gift? Go back to those people and chew them out? Clean your house? What? What can make things right for you, and help you see they still care? Once you figure it out, you can feel better about things.