Why relationships have boundaries
Every relationship has it's limitations. There are certain things you know you can do and certain things you know you cannot. Boundaries are necessary in a relationship as they do help you to maintain a stronger love life and connection. You won't nag one another or cross the line that can put your lover over the edge. You need to sit down and talk about a few things that are "absolutely not's" and "that's fine" as it allows you to both be yourselves and to avoid having to deal with annoyances and frustrating discussions with your partner. Having boundaries also helps to keep you in check as you won't become obsessive or aggressive. You both deserve to have personal freedom and you need to have a certain level of respect for one another if you want to make the relationship work successfully.
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What do the boundaries encompass? They are very clear lines about your likes and dislikes. For example, you may absolutely hate to have your feet tickled or even touched. Your partner needs to know that this is not funny to you but it is annoying and frustrating. By communicating this message to them, it will help to keep you both from getting into fights over small matters that can be easily prevented.
Never stay quiet about things that are frustrating and irritating to you in the relationship. You need to make your message clear to your spouse so they know what your boundaries are and so they won't push them. If you aren't talking and clear with your message, it can cause an abusive relationship to occur and it will hurt you physically or mentally. The unfortunate situation may be that you are afraid of how your spouse will react. If this happens, you probably aren't in a great relationship anyhow because you have given your spouse too much control over the relationship and they won't be thrilled about relinquishing this control back to you or making it equal again.
Once you sit down together and talk about the boundaries you need to have, you must then respect them. If you aren't thrilled with the boundaries, sit back down with your spouse and go over them again so you can come up with a mutual agreement. You need to be on the same page in order to have a good relationship. Communicate your message straight forward to make sure there is not any confusion between the two of you. You must then both talk over the boundaries and come to an agreement to respect them. It is important for you both to show one another that you will agree to the new boundaries and you will follow them and not just "try" to follow them.
What are some of the common boundaries you should have in a relationship? It depends on the type of relationship you already have and if you have allowed other things to occur (like mental abuse) because it will be harder for you to go back from this point and start over. However, there are several boundaries every relationship must have in order for it to work:
- Infidelity will not be tolerated
- Abuse of any kind will not be tolerated
- We should mutually agree upon decisions and never be forced into them
- We should always talk about big decisions that may impact the entire family such as accepting a new job or moving.
Depending on your relationship, there will be different boundaries you need to talk about and implement in order for you both to have a happy and healthy marriage.
